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Proper Compulsiveness makes it better

임성준/2024-10-04

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
What is your main weakness? How do you try to overcome it? >>> My main weakness is leakage of autonomy because I'm a passionate person only when I'm doing what I like. Unless It is my style, I immediately become a lazy man. It will be really great if I can concentrate on only what I like. But the world is not easy. To get my happiness in the future, I must do whatever I don't want, for example studying. In conclusion, I need a proper level of surveillance and coercion. If I in the condition of someone's observation, I can do anything well.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi, Jun!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. You really did well! :)
~ T. Camille


What is your main weakness? How do you try to overcome it?

>>> My main weakness is leakage of autonomy because I'm a passionate person only when I'm doing what I like. 
>> CORRECT!
Unless It is my style, I immediately become a lazy man. 
>> CORRECT!
It will be really great if I can concentrate on only what I like. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> It will be really great if I can focus on only what I like. 
But the world is not easy. 
>> CORRECT!
To get my happiness in the future, I must do whatever I don't want, for example studying. 
>> To get my happiness in the future, I must do whatever it is, even if I don't want, for example studying. 
In conclusion, I need a proper level of surveillance and coercion. 
>> In conclusion, I need a proper level of surveillance and encouragement. 
If I in the condition of someone's observation, I can do anything well.
>> If I am in the condition of someone's observation, I can do anything well.

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