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Sleep

양기연/2024-10-04

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
He emphasizes the importance of Rem Sleep. He explains that Deep Sleep is time for our body recovery and Rem Sleep is time for our brain recovery. He argues that if you missed Rem Sleep, you would be susceptible to developing dementia or short -term cognitive impairment. So he suggests that we should sleep enough, including Rem Sleep.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi, Gi Yean!
I am really learning a lot from you when it comes to health. I totally agree with what this doctor mentioned. Like what we’ve discussed in class, having good quality sleep is very important. I also read that dreaming usually happens during REM sleep.
- T. Caitlyn
He emphasizes the importance of Rem Sleep. 
>> CORRECT
He explains that Deep Sleep is time for our body recovery and Rem Sleep is time for our brain recovery. 
>> He explains that deep sleep is the time for our body’s recovery, and REM sleep is the time for our brain’s recovery.
He argues that if you missed Rem Sleep, you would be susceptible to developing dementia or short -term cognitive impairment. 
>> He argues that if you miss REM sleep, you would be susceptible to developing dementia or short-term cognitive impairment.
So he suggests that we should sleep enough, including Rem Sleep.
>> So he suggests that we should get enough sleep, including REM sleep.
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