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노승철/2024-09-26

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
1. Before playing indoor golf, I have plyed outdoor golf for a long time. When I met the indoor golf, I felt what a wonderful world! Indoor golf gave me a lot of information about my bad habit and showed the way to go for a beautiful swing. So I want to play indoor golf. 2. The prices of the two are similar. But sometimes there are promotion in the indoor golf. Actually I got 50% reduced price by promotion.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi, David.

Hi! Great effort in expressing your ideas. I’ve made some small grammar and sentence structure adjustments to help your sentences flow better. Keep up the good work!

Regards,
Teacher Dana


Before playing indoor golf, I have plyed outdoor golf for a long time.
>>>Before playing indoor golf, I had played outdoor golf for a long time.

When I met the indoor golf, I felt what a wonderful world!
>>>When I discovered indoor golf, I thought, "What a wonderful world!"

Indoor golf gave me a lot of information about my bad habit and showed the way to go for a beautiful swing.
>>>Indoor golf gave me a lot of insight into my bad habits and showed me how to achieve a better swing.

So I want to play indoor golf.
>>>That’s why I want to play indoor golf.

The prices of the two are similar.
>>>The prices of both are similar.

But sometimes there are promotion in the indoor golf.
>>>But sometimes, there are promotions in indoor golf.

Actually I got 50% reduced price by promotion.
>>>Actually, I got a 50% discount through a promotion.
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