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Do you think it is more important to make a lot of money or to enjoy your job?

김보연/2024-09-10

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

When I was child, It was important to make a lot of money for me. I thought If I chase the money, I can get money more easier. So after starting my part-time job as soon as becoming 18, I had made a lot of part-time jobs. But my mental health was going to become more and more bad. Therefore I have started to find the work that I am interested in from this year. And I finally recognized one of important things is to enjoy my job.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Betty!

I must agree! As happiness affects your health, it should be given greater importance. A happy soul leads to a healthy body.

Chammy

When I was child, It was important to make a lot of money for me.

>> When I was a child, it was important to make a lot of money for me.

I thought If I chase the money, I can get money more easier.

>> I thought, if I chase money, I can get more easily.

So after starting my part-time job as soon as becoming 18, I had made a lot of part-time jobs. But my mental health was going to become more and more bad.

>>So, after starting my part-time job as soon as I turned 18, I had a lot of part-time jobs. But things were going to get worse and worse for me mentally.

Therefore I have started to find the work that I am interested in from this year. And I finally recognized one of important things is to enjoy my job.

>> Therefore I have started to find the work that I am interested in from this year. And I finally recognized one of the important things is to enjoy my job.