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What is the biggest change this world needs?

김보연/2024-09-05

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
The biggest change this world needs is making discrimination decreased. Before covid19, there were cooperation and harmony among global citizens but after that It was changed united appearance to racial violence. so I believe It would be improved as soon as possible.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hello, Betty!
I must agree with your opinion... These days, discrimination is an increasing issue, and it's one of the reasons why some individuals struggle to believe in themselves because they sometimes feel like they don't belong in the culture they live in... What a sad reality...
Chammy
The biggest change this world needs is making discrimination decreased. 
>> The biggest change this world needs is to reduce discrimination.
Before covid19, there were cooperation and harmony among global citizens but after that It was changed united appearance to racial violence.
>> Before COVID-19, there was cooperation and harmony among global citizens but after that, it changed united appearance to racial violence.
 so I believe It would be improved as soon as possible.
>>Correct
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