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When is the best time for you to spend time with your family and friends?

김예린/2024-09-02

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
I like to spend my family when we listen to music in the house, live bar, LP bar. Because my family members all love music. So the time when we listen to music is happy and meaningful to me. I can learn new, old music and talk about the story of music. Especially i love to listen music at home with LP player. Because we can listen whatever we want and stay easy. We usually listen old pop songs, jazz, classical. In case of friends, I like to spend time talking about all sorts of themes like romance, future, truth, act. Because I can think about the other way. it's helpful and fun.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi, Lin! That sounds like a wonderful way to connect with your family and friends! It’s great that you have such meaningful experiences with music and engaging conversations. Keep enjoying those moments!
~T. Jenna

I like to spend my family when we listen to music in the house, live bar, LP bar. 
>>I like to spend time with my family when we listen to music at home, in live bars, or at LP bars
Because my family members all love music. 
>>This is because my family members all love music. 
OR
>>This is because music is a shared passion in my family.
So the time when we listen to music is happy and meaningful to me. 
Correct, or
>>Thus, the moments we dedicate to listening to music are profoundly joyful and significant to me.
I can learn new, old music and talk about the story of music.
>>I can learn both new and old music, and talk about its story. 
OR
>>I can delve into both new and old music and explore its rich story.
Especially i love to listen music at home with LP player. 
>>Especially, I love listening to music at home with an LP player.
OR
>>Particularly, I relish listening to music at home on my LP player
Because we can listen whatever we want and stay easy. 
>>This is because we can listen to whatever we want and stay easy / relaxed.
We usually listen old pop songs, jazz, classical. 
>>We usually listen to old pop songs, jazz, and classical music.
In case of friends, I like to spend time talking about all sorts of themes like romance, future, truth, act. Because I can think about the other way. 
>>In case of friends, I like to spend time talking about all sorts of themes like romance, future, truth, act because I can think about the other way / because it allows me to consider different perspectives. 
OR
>>When it comes to friends, I enjoy chatting about various topics like romance, the future, and truth because it gives me a chance to see things from different angles.
It's helpful and fun.
Correct, or
>>It’s both rewarding and enjoyable.
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