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Would you like to live in your hometown forever? Why or why not?

김영순/2024-08-29

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

I was born in Jeju island and lived there for long time. I love my hometown where is buried my parents and have memories of my childhood . I will often visit there is the beautiful scenery . However, I moved to Seoul after got married and I think I'm going to settle down in the future. So, I'll live my old life missing Jeju island forever~~

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Young Soon!
Be careful with showing relationship and connection between different parts of sentences.
Choose the appropriate ideas to express what you mean.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon

I was born in Jeju island and lived there for long time.

>> I was born in Jeju Island and I had lived there for a long time.
I love my hometown where is buried my parents and have memories of my childhood .

>> I love the hometown where my parents are buried and where I created so many childhood memories.
I will often visit there is the beautiful scenery .
>> I visit there often for the beautiful scenery.
However, I moved to Seoul after got married

>> However, I moved to Seoul after I got married.
and I think I'm going to settle down in the future.

>> I think that we have already settled down here.
So, I'll live my old life missing Jeju island forever~~

>> So, when I get older, I'll just live my life missing Jeju Island forever.