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I'm addicted to my smartphone!

김창민/2024-08-23

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

Like this title, I'm addicted to my smartphone. While I stay at home on weekend, I just spend a time choosing Youtube videos that I want to watch more than 1 hours. It would have been more efficient to watch a drama at that time.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there, Min!

If there is a weekly report of your total screen time, you can really see how much time you devote in intentionally and unintentionally use or view your phone. I guess, with all the Apps, it is not difficult to find out how many hours we use our smartphone. Thus, we can either do something about it or add more time using it.

Anyway, we have the power to choose the things we want to do with our smartphone.

You did well on this homework answer.

See you on your next composition!

-T. Donna~

Like this title, I'm addicted to my smartphone.

>> Correct!

While I stay at home on weekend, I just spend a time choosing Youtube videos that I want to watch more than 1 hours.

>> While I stay at home on weekend, I just spend time choosing YouTube videos that I want to watch for more than 1 hour.

It would have been more efficient to watch a drama at that time.

>> It would have been more efficient to watch a drama (at the/ that) time.