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김순님/2024-08-21

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
Traditionally, many companies used to employ specific person. They prefered Busan people to kwangju. At that time our politics managed by Busan and capital area. So kwang ju people who was employed at Seoul had to change their accent. Because bosses didn't like them. They couldn't be promoted well. But Busan employees didn't need to change their accent. They might be proud of their accent. But now our country doesn't have unfair at employment.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Ms. Sunny!
Wow, I didn't know that there were issues like this before. Aren't you glad that we are now in the twentieth century where people can be themselves? Thanks to globalization!
Have a nice day!
T. Aki~

Traditionally, many companies used to employ specific person.
>>>  Traditionally, many companies used to employ specific people.

They prefered Busan people to kwangju.
>>> They preferred the Busan people to Kwangju.

At that time our politics managed by Busan and capital area.
>>> At that time our politics were managed by Busan and the capital area.

So kwang ju people who was employed at Seoul had to change their accent.
>>> So Kwangju people who were employed in Seoul had to change their accents.

Because bosses didn't like them. They couldn't be promoted well.
>>> Because bosses didn't like them, they couldn't be promoted easily.

But Busan employees didn't need to change their accent.
>>> But Busan employees didn't need to change their accents.

They might be proud of their accent.
>>> They must be proud of their accent.

But now our country doesn't have unfair at employment.
>>>  But now, our country does not have unfair employment practices
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