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In order to look good is the most important working out.

이아름/2024-08-16

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
To look good, which is more important? Eating well or working out? I think to look good is more working out than eating well. It is helps blood circulations and improves skin elasticity also complextion. Plus, It naturally relieves swelling and makes healthy body. It makes people be happy and to get way how can refresh thinking. The changing gradually is easy to look good to the other people.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hello again, Areum!

Here's your corrected composition. Please take a look at the revisions below. 
I appreciate your adding the essay question. Good night!  

Cheers,
Jean~~



                                      To look good, which is more important? Eating well or working out?


I think to look good is more working out than eating well. 
>> I think working out is more important if you want to look good. 

It is helps blood circulations and improves skin elasticity also completion.
>> It helps blood circulation and improves skin elasticity, as well as complexion. 

Plus, It naturally relieves swelling and makes healthy body. 
>> Plus, it naturally relieves swelling and makes the body healthy. 

It makes people be happy and to get way how can refresh thinking.
>> It makes people happy, feel refreshed, and can give them new ideas. 

The changing gradually is easy to look good to the other people.
>> Gradual changes are better and easier, and one can look good to others. 
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