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self introduction

김하일/2024-08-13

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
My name is hail-kim in korean and my english name is gilbert. you can call me by my english name. actually i am used to being called with gilbert because i am using my english name since when i was in middlescool. my hometown is anyang near seoul, which is capital of south korea. but, i currently live in daegu where my university is located. because my whole family live different city with me, i live in a dorm. sometimes it makes me lonely but i can endure that. when it comes to major, i am majoring mobile engineering. i had some difficulties in following my classes when i was freshman, but i tried hard and overcame it. thank you. question: can i write my essay as speech??
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi, Gilbert!
Yes! You can definitely write your speech as your homework so we can also check it. Great job with this. Just take note of using transitional words such as 'since,' 'however,' and 'regarding.' These can help you create better sentences rather than always using 'but' and 'because.' Also, take note of capitalization when mentioning proper nouns like 'Seoul,' 'Daegu,' and 'Gilbert.'.
- T. Caitlyn
My name is hail-kim in korean and my english name is gilbert. 
>> CORRECT
you can call me by my english name. 
>> CORRECT
actually i am used to being called with gilbert because i am using my english name since when i was in middlescool. 
>> Actually, I am used to being called Gilbert because I have been using my English name since I was in middle school.
my hometown is anyang near seoul, which is capital of south korea. 
>> My hometown is Anyang, near Seoul, which is the capital of South Korea.
but, i currently live in daegu where my university is located. 
>> CORRECT
>> OR: However, I currently live in Daegu, where my university is located.
because my whole family live different city with me, i live in a dorm. 
>> Since my whole family lives in a different city from me, I live in a dorm.
sometimes it makes me lonely but i can endure that. 
>> Sometimes it makes me lonely, but I can endure it.
when it comes to major, i am majoring mobile engineering. 
>> Regarding my major, I am studying mobile engineering.
i had some difficulties in following my classes when i was freshman, but i tried hard and overcame it. 
>> I had some difficulties following my classes when I was a freshman, but I tried hard and overcame them.
thank you.
>> CORRECT
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