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To avoid getting sick

양기연/2024-08-12

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
To avoid getting sick, we should be strong both mentally and physically. We should keep positive thinking and cope with stress before it makes you harm. And we should have healthy diet regularly. Along with this, we should work out at least three times a week. One more important thing is to make efforts to keep our brains healthy. To do this, we have to try something new or give stimulus to our brains through new experiences, such as traveling, learning foreign languages, or meeting new people.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi, Gi Yean!
I completely agree with you! To be considered healthy, one should be both physically and mentally well, and to achieve that, we need proper exercise and a balanced diet. It’s also great that you mentioned stimulating the brain, as it is a good way to slow down aging and prevent memory loss.
- T. Caitlyn
To avoid getting sick, we should be strong both mentally and physically. 
>> CORRECT
We should keep positive thinking and cope with stress before it makes you harm. 
>> We should maintain positive thinking and cope with stress before it causes harm.
And we should have healthy diet regularly. 
>> We should also maintain a healthy diet regularly.
Along with this, we should work out at least three times a week. 
>> CORRECT
One more important thing is to make efforts to keep our brains healthy. 
>> CORRECT
To do this, we have to try something new or give stimulus to our brains through new experiences, such as traveling, learning foreign languages, or meeting new people.
>> To do this, we should try new activities or stimulate our brains through new experiences, such as traveling, learning foreign languages, or meeting new people.
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