Hi June!
Thank you for explaining your examples well.
It makes it that much easier to understand.
The writing was really smooth today.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Furthermore, entertainment serves more than just passing the time.
>> Correct
It could also improve the standard of society and lifestyle.
>> Correct
People usually relieve stress by watching TV or listening music.
>> People usually relieve stress by watching TV or listening to music.
People also love to visit museum and gallery to broad viewpoint.
>> People also love to visit museums and galleries to broaden their viewpoints.
A good movie, a funny TV show can help us unwind from work and worries.
>> A good movie or a funny TV show can help us unwind from work and worries.
On top of that, entertainment is not just for fun.
>> Correct
It exposes us to new idea, worlds and the ways of thinking.
>> It exposes us to new ideas, worlds, and ways of thinking.
Some scientific concepts even give us opportunities to spark creativity and fuel our imagination.
>> Correct
In this way, people could have much more lively life.
>> In this way, people could have much more lively lives.
In conclusion, there are a lot of benefits of entertainment such as art, music and theaters not just economy aspect but also personal aspect.
>> In conclusion, there are many benefits of entertainment such as art, music, and theaters, not just from an economic aspect but also from a personal aspect.
Arts and Music always bring us much more we expected.
>> Arts and music always bring us much more than we expected.
Hence, governments should invest more budget on this field to improve economy and peoples mental health.
>> Hence, governments should invest more budget in this field to improve the economy and peoples mental health.