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심미진/2024-07-24

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
In my opinion, Changwon is the city with the best weather. It is located in the south of Korea.that's why there's a lot of warm wind. But it's not cold either.And it is near Jinhae, where the sea is famous. So it is not too hot compared to Daegu. It's rare that the weather is bad because there are many walking trails with trees. I moved a lot because of my dad's job. But there's no better place to live than Changwon.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


I'm sending you another corrected essay, Mi Jin!  I appreciate your sending it. Please go over the corrections and alternative expressions provided.

By the way, do you mind adding the homework essay question under the Title section? Many thanks. Good night!

Cheers,
Jean~~



                                  Which region of your country has the best weather? What is it like there?


In my opinion, Changwon is the city with the best weather.
>> OR: Personally, I think Changwon has the best weather. 

It is located in the south of Korea.that's why there's a lot of warm wind.
>> It's located in the southern part of the country that's why there's a lot of warm wind. 

But it's not cold either. 
>> CORRECT~~

And it is near Jinhae, where the sea is famous. So it is not too hot compared to Daegu.
>> And it is near Jinhae, where the sea is famous, which is why it's not too hot compared to Daegu.

It's rare that the weather is bad because there are many walking trails with trees.
>> The weather is rarely bad because there are many walking trails with trees.

I moved a lot because of my dad's job. But there's no better place to live than Changwon.
>> I moved a lot because of my dad's job, but there's no better place to live than Changwon.
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