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Reason why privacy is important

김길수/2024-07-23

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

Reason why privacy is important is that individial information. Individial information such as bank information, health information, ID & pass wards of web site leak to other person, they can get roan from bank illegally. Or they could be use my personal infornation in a criminal. I traveled to london . My back pack & passport was stolen thief. I heard that Korean passport is popluar, becasue It is useful for a counterfeit passport. I have don`t get phonecall from police about stolen paasport until now.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Tom!

I'm sorry to hear that. I think even if we are attentive to our valuable things, people with bad motives will still be around.

~ Trixia

Content:

Reason why privacy is important is that individial information.

- The reason why privacy is important is because of individual information.

Individial information such as bank information, health information, ID & pass wards of web site leak to other person, they can get roan from bank illegally. Or they could be use my personal infornation in a criminal.

- Individual information such as bank information, health information, IDs, and passwords of the web site leaks to other people, and they can get a loan from the bank illegally or they could use my personal information against a criminal.

I traveled to london .

- I traveled to London.

My back pack & passport was stolen thief.

- My backpack and passport were stolen by a thief.

I heard that Korean passport is popluar, becasue It is useful for a counterfeit passport.

- I heard that a Korean passport is plural because it is useful for a counterfeit passport.

I have don`t get phonecall from police about stolen paasport until now.

- I haven't gotten a phone call from the police about my stolen passport until now.