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> 영작교정 첨삭 서비스

ages

권경희/2024-07-23

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

I agree that global shifts in old age because we suddenly become encounter an ultra-elderly society. The elder are increasing, on the other hand the worker are decreasing very seriously. Skilled workders are very seldom among young people in Korea in the parts of manufacturing, beauty technology and crafts and so on. Those parts require very long time and patience to learn.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Ms. Lily,

You have my full agreement! I wonder how young people these days live in the future. (that makes me worry)

I guess the technology that we are using now is producing people who rely too much on the convenience of AI and its development.

We hope to see hope from these people in this modern age.

Aki~

I agree that global shifts in old age because we suddenly become encounter an ultra-elderly society.

>>> I agree that global shifts in old age because we suddenly encounter an ultra-elderly society.

The elder are increasing, on the other hand the worker are decreasing very seriously.

>>> The elderly are increasing, on the other hand, the workers are decreasing very seriously.

Skilled workders are very seldom among young people in Korea in the parts of manufacturing, beauty technology and crafts and so on.

>>> Skilled workers are very seldom among young people in Korea in the parts of manufacturing, beauty technology and crafts, and so on.

>>> Skilled workers are rarely found among young people in Korea in sectors such as manufacturing, beauty technology, crafts, and others.

Those parts require very long time and patience to learn.

>>> Those parts require a very long time and patience to learn.