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Do you ever want to have your own cafe? Why or why not?

문도현/2024-07-18

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
Yes, I do. When I take stress in my job, I hope to have my own cafe. Working my job I want to avoid from persons that give the stress to me. But, The reason that I give up to have my own cafe is simple. Because having my own cafe is too dangerous. The normal salary man is more easy and comportable.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi, Mun!

Thank you for doing your homework!

~T. Divina^^

Here are some things to take note of:

1. Yes, I do. When I take stress in my job, I hope to have my own cafe. 
>>Yes, I do. When I'm stressed with my job, I hope to have my own cafe. 

2. Working my job I want to avoid from persons that give the stress to me.
>>When I do my job, I want to avoid the people that stress me out.

3. But, The reason that I give up to have my own cafe is simple. 
>>But the reason that I give up having my own cafe is simple. 

4. Because having my own cafe is too dangerous. 
>>Having my own cafe is too dangerous. (*you may also use the word 'risky' instead of 'dangerous')

5. The normal salary man is more easy and comportable.
>>Being a normal salaryman is easier and more comfortable.

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