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I might be really dumb without cell phone LOL

김민주/2024-07-12

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
Like so many others, I heavily rely on my cell phone and cannot even imagine a world without it. I would be really lost without my cell phone because I do everything on it. However, I might kind of like being lost. This is because, although smartphones incredibly help people with tasks, they also have negative effects in many ways. If you've ever suffered from unwanted contact, you'll sympathize. In my case, I get easily restless with my phone while binge-watching YouTube shorts and being exposed to too many advertisements. On the other hand, this may be why digital detoxes are getting popular these days. Sometimes, to manage stress, it is necessary to be apart from our cell phones.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hello, MJ! I can feel you! I don't think I could imagine my life without my cell phone. ^^ Anyway, thank you for your time doing your homework. Happy Friday! ^^
~T. Jewel
Like so many others, I heavily rely on my cell phone and cannot even imagine a world without it.
>> CORRECT
I would be really lost without my cell phone because I do everything on it.
>>CORRECT
OR
>>I would be completely lost without my cell phone since I use it for everything.
However, I might kind of like being lost.
>>CORRECT
This is because, although smartphones incredibly help people with tasks, they also have negative effects in many ways.
>>Although smartphones are incredibly helpful for people with tasks, they also have negative effects in many ways
If you've ever suffered from unwanted contact, you'll sympathize.
>CORRECT
OR
>>If you've ever experienced unwanted contact, you'll understand.
In my case, I get easily restless with my phone while binge-watching YouTube shorts and being exposed to too many advertisements.
>>In my case, I easily get restless with my phone while binge-watching YouTube shorts and being exposed to too many advertisements.
On the other hand, this may be why digital detoxes are getting popular these days.
>>CORRECT
OR
>>On the other hand, this may be why digital detoxes are becoming popular these days.
Sometimes, to manage stress, it is necessary to be apart from our cell phones.
>>CORRECT
OR
>>At times, to alleviate stress, it's essential to take a break from our cell phones.
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