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East sea and mountains

양기연/2024-07-08

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
If I had an opportunity to introduce my country to a foreigner, I would take him or her to east sea and the mountains near the sea. As you know, Korea is a peninsula surrounded by sea on the three sides, which each sea is called East Sea, West Sea, and South Sea. East sea has its own distinct beauty. Among them I like East sea,for we can see some beautiful mountains near the sea such as Soraksan and Odaesan.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi, Gi Yean!
I think foreigners will appreciate it if you take them to the East Sea because the way you describe it sounds very wonderful. Just take note that 'East Sea' should be capitalized as it is a name. Also, adding 'the' makes it more specific. 
- T. Caitlyn!
If I had an opportunity to introduce my country to a foreigner, I would take him or her to east sea and the mountains near the sea. 
>> If I had an opportunity to introduce my country to a foreigner, I would take him or her to the East Sea and the mountains near the sea.
As you know, Korea is a peninsula surrounded by sea on the three sides, which each sea is called East Sea, West Sea, and South Sea. 
>> As you know, Korea is a peninsula surrounded by sea on three sides, with each sea called the East Sea, West Sea, and South Sea.
East sea has its own distinct beauty. 
>> The East Sea has its own distinct beauty.
Among them I like East sea,for we can see some beautiful mountains near the sea such as Soraksan and Odaesan.
>> Among them, I like the East Sea, for we can see some beautiful mountains near the sea such as Seoraksan and Odaesan.
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