When the retirement approaches, people are divided two groups. Those who want to be rewarded for their works and those who wanted to live quietly regardless of their work. The first group wanted to the new adventure that they didn't experienced when they young. They tend to move to another country or city for retirement. The second group wanted to live quietly because they were too tired from thier work. So they tend to move to small city like their hometown. Although they have a same goal that escape from today's work. But someone will experience different days each days, someone will lived with memories at quiet familiar place.

A fantastic day to you Se Hun~!^^ The arguments in the essay were exceptionally well-developed, consistently clear and well justified. You have effectively presented your ideas in an interesting and critical manner and you have presented a good quality and variety of examples. Keep it up! 

The second group wanted to live quietly because they were too tired from their work.

>>> CORRECT~!^^

 So they tend to move to small city like their hometown.

>>> CORRECT~!^^
Although they have a same goal that escape from today's work.

>>> Although they have [the] same goal [which is to] escape from today's work.