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What influenced your choice of job?

정선아/2024-06-22

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
At first, I have a passion to get my job. Second, I need to think about balance between work and my life. Even though a company give me a high salary with hard working, I wouldn't choose it. Money is important, but not everything to my life.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hello, Ms. Angela! I get your point and I agree that there should always be a balance between work and life. Thank you for sharing!
-T. Sonny
At first, I have a passion to get my job. 
>>First, passion made me get my job.
Second, I need to think about balance between work and my life. 
>>Secondly, I had considered having balance between my work and life.
Even though a company give me a high salary with hard working, I wouldn't choose it. 
>>Even if a company offers me a high compensation for a difficult job, I wouldn't choose it.
Money is important, but not everything to my life.
>>Money is important but is not everything to me.
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