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My dream of the future

고득호/2024-06-21

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

Do you have plans on expanding your business/company in the future? Of course. I have some plans on expanding my business in the future. 1)At first one, I will make a big size studio after to move of my present studio on october, 2025. 2)At second one, I will make studios of 5 number for 4 years in New York. 3)At third one, I will make an environmental platformin New York. Andthen, 4)at last, our team and me will make an environmental textbook for elementary student of perblic school in NewYork.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Sir Ko!

Of course. I have some plans on expanding my business in the future.

>>> correct

>>> OR: Of course, I have some plans on expanding my business in the future.

1)At first one, I will make a big size studio after to move of my present studio on october, 2025.

>>> For first one, I will make a big size studio after moving my present studio in October, 2025.
2)At second one, I will make studios of 5 number for 4 years in New York.

>>> Second, I will make 5 different studios for the span of 4 years in New York.
3)At third one, I will make an environmental platformin New York.

>>> Third, I will make an environmental platform in New York.

And then, at last, our team and me will make an environmental textbook for elementary studentof perblic school in NewYork.

>>> And then, last but not the least, our team and I will make an environmental textbook for elementary students of public schools in New York.