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김지숙/2024-06-11

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
I want to learn that even people who can't use their bodies well can dance. And I want to dance in a slow rhythm rather than a fast rhythm because I think it will be easy to dance if the beat is slow.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Great work, Shin woo! You were able to share your thoughts well. Please take note of some of corrections below. 
- Teacher Angela


I want to learn that even people who can't use their bodies well can dance. 
>> CORRECT

And I want to dance in a slow rhythm rather than a fast rhythm because I think it will be easy to dance if the beat is slow.
>> And I want to dance to a slow rhythm rather than a fast one because I think it will be easier to dance if the beat is slow.
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