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나유진/2024-04-26

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
I hope to gain industry experience and expertise, and therefore anticipate the following responsibilities: fostering opportunities in relationships with external partners throughout the stages of game development, from QA to publishing and release. Leading quality QA processes within reasonable costs and timeframe, establishing marketing and operational strategies with reputable partners for similar games, and maximizing user acquisition by ensuring platform features introduce our apps prominently upon release. Much like 'Nike' partnered with 'Tencent' for Shift Up to focus solely on game development, and 'Stellar Blade' collaborated with Sony for various technical support in exchange for an exclusive PlayStation release, I aspire to navigate various external collaborations to bring the utmost value and potential to our games.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hello, Eugene!
You effectively outline your goals and ambitions, highlighting your desire to gain industry experience and expertise. To enhance your answer, you might consider breaking it into smaller, more digestible paragraphs for easier delivery. 
~ Teacher Maxine 

I hope to gain industry experience and expertise, and therefore anticipate the following responsibilities: fostering opportunities in relationships with external partners throughout the stages of game development, from QA to publishing and release. 
>> CORRECT
OR >> I aim to develop my industry experience and expertise, foreseeing the following responsibilities: cultivating relationships with external partners throughout all stages of game development, from QA to publishing and release. 

Leading quality QA processes within reasonable costs and timeframe, establishing marketing and operational strategies with reputable partners for similar games, and maximizing user acquisition by ensuring platform features introduce our apps prominently upon release. 
>> CORRECT
OR >> I will also oversee high-quality QA processes within budgetary and time constraints, devise marketing and operational strategies with esteemed partners for similar games, and optimize user acquisition by ensuring our apps are prominently featured upon release. 

Much like 'Nike' partnered with 'Tencent' for Shift Up to focus solely on game development, and 'Stellar Blade' collaborated with Sony for various technical support in exchange for an exclusive PlayStation release, I aspire to navigate various external collaborations to bring the utmost value and potential to our games.
>> CORRECT
OR >> Inspired by success stories like 'Nike' partnering with 'Tencent' for Shift Up and 'Stellar Blade' collaborating with Sony for exclusive PlayStation support, I am eager to explore diverse external collaborations to maximize the value and potential of our games.
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