>>> TEACHER GEMMA

Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past.  What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results. 

There are several reasons why both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. 

>>> CORRECT~!^^

First, I believe, personal growth of wealth made people spend their time and money on beauty care.

>>> CORRECT~!^^
For example, makeup belongs to rich or special occupation such as shaman or artists. 

>>> CORRECT~!^^s. 

Normal group had no time and money to spend on it.

>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, as personal wealth grows, people can pay attention to beauty. 

>>> CORRECT~!^^
Second, media evolution changed people's mind. 

>>> CORRECT~!^^

People tend to follow the star's outfits and then it becomes a trend.

>>> CORRECT~!^^
Not only female stars but also male stars makeup these days. 

>>> Not only female stars but also male stars [wear] makeup these days. 

Young generatian who is positive to decorate themselves, easily imitates stars. 

>>> The young generation which is positive to [fashion] themselves, easily imitates stars. 

Since spending much time and money on beauty care, there are some positive and negative influences.

>>> CORRECT~!^^
 First, good influence is encouraging beauty industries. 

>>> CORRECT~!^^

Cosmetic industry has been growing in Korea since 2000.

>>> CORRECT~!^^

Now it is a one of main export industry.

>>> Now, it is one of the biggest in export industry. 

 Many jobs and added value created through beauty industries. 

>>> CORRECT~!^^
 However, there's also a negative aspect. 

>>> CORRECT~!^^

People tend to judge by one's oufit, not one's behavior. 

>>> CORRECT~!^^

People responded in a research that 'outfit is the one of most important factors to pass the job interview or earn something from other people.' 

>>> CORRECT~!^^
People lost sef-esteem because of outfit beauty and degrade themselves.

>>> People lost their self-esteem because of outfit beauty [which] degrade themselves.