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김순님/2024-04-24

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

I don’t think there is a junk food tax for disease. We need to distinguish who need to help. Our country have a medical system for people who have serious disease and poor patients. And government is already imposing the tax to every consumption. The more people who consume a lot They are taxing a lot. It is more natural I think.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great day, Ms. Sunny!

I grasp your point that the government has been implementing various tax measures, which also serve as a means to dissuade individuals from consuming unhealthy products like soda, cigarettes, and alcohol.

Then perhaps we should entrust the decision to the consumer. After all, it will always lead to personal choice.

Good day!

Aki~

I don’t think there is a junk food tax for disease.

>>> CORRECT!

We need to distinguish who need to help.

>>> We need to distinguish who needs help.

Our country have a medical system for people who have serious disease and poor patients.

>>> Our country has a medical system for people who have serious disease and poor patients.

And government is already imposing the tax to every consumption.

>>> And the government is already imposing a tax on every consumption.

The more people who consume a lot They are taxing a lot.

>>> The more people who consume a lot They are taxing a lot.

It is more natural I think.

>>> CORRECT!