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김순님/2024-04-23

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
People can make a lot of friends from union like graduated school,hometown and social union. Sociable people and people who like drinking can have many friends. The number of friends each person can afford is difference. I want to spend my time for myself. But some others don’t. I think people should keep in touch each other twice a month at least. It can be face to face or phone call.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Ms. Sunny!
Staying in touch with friends strengthens relationships, even if apart. I remember a very good male friend of mine, Since he got married, his wife doesn't allow him to meet us. from then on, we don't invite him even if we have a reunion or small gatherings.
Aki~

People can make a lot of friends from union like graduated school,hometown and social union.
>>> People can form friendships through various groups, such as alumni networks, hometown ties, and social groups. 

Sociable people and people who like drinking can have many friends.
>>> CORRECT!
OR >> Sociable individuals and those who enjoy socializing often have larger friend circles.

The number of friends each person can afford is difference.
>>> The number of friends a person can have varies.
>>>  The capacity for friendships varies for each person.

I want to spend my time for myself.
>>> CORRECT!

But some others don’t.
>>> CORRECT!

I think people should keep in touch each other twice a month at least.
>>> I think people should keep in touch with each other at least twice a month.
>>> I believe it's important for people to stay connected at least twice a month,

It can be face to face or phone call.
>>> It can be an in-person meeting or through phone calls.



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