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My shape

임성준/2024-04-20

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
How has your life changed since beginning college? >>> In high school, I was overweight because I slept late and ate much meal to get the power that can help studying. After CSAT, I decieded to start the diet. So before beginning college, I swam everyday with my freind during winter. As result, I reduced 12kg. The shape of me made me more confident than past. I didn't know how confidency can change my life. I could approach a unknown person whatever the reason is. And I could start my first date. It was gorgous for me!
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hello, Brian!
That's amazing progress! It's inspiring to see how you took control of your health and achieved such significant results. Keep up the fantastic work!
~ Teacher Maxine

In high school, I was overweight because I slept late and ate much meal to get the power that can help studying. 
>> In high school, I was overweight because I slept late and ate many meals to gain the energy needed for studying.

After CSAT, I decieded to start the diet. 
>> After CSAT, I decided to start a diet.

So before beginning college, I swam everyday with my freind during winter. 
>> So before beginning college, I swam every day with my friend during winter.

As result, I reduced 12kg. 
>> As a result, I reduced 12kg.

The shape of me made me more confident than past. 
>> The change in my appearance made me more confident than before.

I didn't know how confidency can change my life. 
>> I didn't realize how much confidence could change my life.

I could approach a unknown person whatever the reason is. 
>> I could approach an unknown person for any reason.

And I could start my first date. 
>> CORRECT

It was gorgous for me!
>> It was gorgeous for me!


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