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윤영선/2024-03-26

회원님의 올려주신 영작문

Last December, the line dance year-end party was fun. It was my first time participating in the party, and it was colorful and interesting. Participation fee is 100,000 won per person. ($74.76) This event was performed by the Line Dance Association as a lantern in the entire wedding hall. I had to memorize 20 line dances to participate in the party. It took me over a month to memorize all the songs. It was an interesting experience for me. *Guess who I am in the picture. took this picture at a year-end party last year Hint is sitting in the middle, wearing a black jacket. In another photo, I wore green and a Rudolph hat.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Mia! Thank you for sending pictures! ^^ I think you are the lady wearing a white shirt with black jacket on the second picture. Am I right? You look fabulous! ^^ I appreciate that you’ve shared one of the best year-end parties that you’ve attended.

Last December, the line dance year-end party was fun.

>> CORRECT
OR
>> The Line Dance year-end party last December was fun.

It was my first time participating in the party, and it was colorful and interesting.

>> CORRECT
OR
>> It’s my first time to participate, and the party was interesting and full of fun colors.

Participation fee is 100,000 won per person. ($74.76)

>> The participation fee is 100,000 won per person. ($74.76)

This event was performed by the Line Dance Association as a lantern in the entire wedding hall.

>> This event was performed by the Line Dance Association, and they served as a lantern in the entire wedding hall.

I had to memorize 20 line dances to participate in the party.

>> CORRECT

It took me over a month to memorize all the songs.

>> CORRECT
OR
>> I spent a month memorizing all the songs.

It was an interesting experience for me.

>> CORRECT
OR
>> It was an enthusiastic experience for me.

*Guess who I am in the picture.

>> CORRECT

took this picture at a year-end party last year

>> This picture was taken at the year-end party last year.

Hint is sitting in the middle, wearing a black jacket.

>> CORRECT

In another photo, I wore green and a Rudolph hat.

>> CORRECT

>> In another photo, I’m wearing a green top and a Rudolph hat.