¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2025-03-27 164

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My home is on the 5th floor. I can see an elementary school right outside the window.
In summer, when the window is open, I can hear the kids playing.
It¡¯s a cheerful sound, but hearing it every day can feel like noise and it stresses me out.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Isabel, your homework was well-structured and clearly expressed your thoughts. You did a great job describing your living situation and how the sounds from the school affect you. I made a small revision in the last sentence to improve the flow and make it sound more natural. Try to be mindful of transitions between ideas to ensure smooth readability. Keep up the great work, and I look forward to reading more of your homework responses.

~ T. Lia

My home is on the 5th floor. 
>> CORRECT

I can see an elementary school right outside the window.
>> CORRECT

In summer, when the window is open, I can hear the kids playing.
>> CORRECT

It¡¯s a cheerful sound, but hearing it every day can feel like noise and it stresses me out.
>> It¡¯s a cheerful sound, but hearing it every day can start to feel like noise, which stresses me out.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143074 Opic intrduction Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 4
143073 What is the best golf club for beginners? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 359
143072 free size ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 284
143071 How can extreme weather conditions affect the economy and our... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 298
143070 3/14 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 1
143069 2025.03.14 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 303
143068 A foreign language ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 384
143067 How to avoid uncomfortable situation in office ±è*±æ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 295
143066 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-03-16 2
143065 How do you recharge after socializing? ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-16 294
143064 How much do you value your privacy ? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-16 2
143063 Which place in the world has the best night sky? Why? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-16 270
143062 What are your thoughts on people who always check their weight? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-16 295
143061 Should the USA stand up for Ukraine? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-16 323
143060 Would you like to go to a big international event, such as the... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-16 2
143059 Have you ever experienced a situation that felt negative at... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-15 1
143058 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-14 1
143057 What are your happiest hometown memories? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-03-14 345
143056 Is Seoul the best city to live solo in Korea, or would it be... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-14 326
143055 What role does the media play in celebrity scandals? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-14 316

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04