¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What did you all talk about while having brunch?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-03-25 215

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Totally there were seven people at my mother's birthday party. (My first sister and her 25-year-old son, my younger sister and her husband, and our couple.)
My little sister has no children.
Our story topics are really diverse.
We talked a lot about life, such as our hobbies and our work life, as well as about diet and skin care, and about celebrities.
The story of my family that we always talk about is the story of two daughters studying in the United States.
My mother likes to hear from Kylie and Nikki a lot.
While eating shabu-shabu, we all had video calls with Kylie and Nikki.
There is nothing more enjoyable than seeing the face of the person we want to see.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello David, your writing effectively captures the warmth of a family gathering! I made some adjustments for clarity and natural flow, especially in phrasing and sentence structure. Keep up the great work. You¡¯re doing well in expressing emotions through writing!

~ T. Lia

Totally there were seven people at my mother's birthday party.
>> In total, there were seven people at my mother¡¯s birthday party.

(My first sister and her 25-year-old son, my younger sister and her husband, and our couple.)
>> (My eldest sister and her 25-year-old son, my younger sister and her husband, and my husband and me.)

My little sister has no children.
>> My younger sister has no children.

Our story topics are really diverse.
>> We talked about a wide variety of topics.

We talked a lot about life, such as our hobbies and our work life, as well as about diet and skin care, and about celebrities.
>> We had many conversations about life, including our hobbies, work, diet, skincare, and celebrities.

The story of my family that we always talk about is the story of two daughters studying in the United States.
>> A topic that always comes up in our family is the story of two daughters studying in the United States.

My mother likes to hear from Kylie and Nikki a lot.
>> My mother loves hearing from Kylie and Nikki.

While eating shabu-shabu, we all had video calls with Kylie and Nikki.
>> While enjoying shabu-shabu, we all had a video call with Kylie and Nikki.

There is nothing more enjoyable than seeing the face of the person we want to see.
>> There is nothing more enjoyable than seeing the faces of our loved ones.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142994 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-12 436
142993 Have you tried recreating any of your mom¡¯s recipes? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-12 1
142992 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-12 449
142991 VIP ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-12 536
142990 The homework for 12th March. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-12 448
142989 Have you ever made any lifestyle changes to improve your health? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-12 340
142988 Talk about the best gift that you received. ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-12 374
142987 Taking a walk ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-12 408
142986 3/11 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-03-12 2
142985 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-03-12 405
142984 s Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-12 426
142983 I want to __? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-12 0
142982 Saju ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-12 406
142981 Do you somewhat consider yourself VIP? ÀÌ*Áß ¿Ï·á 2025-03-12 1
142980 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 1
142979 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 0
142978 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 1
142977 What are the technical requirements for schools to adopt AI... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 479
142976 If you could be anywhere right now where would you be? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 347
142975 How to avoid too much talker ±è*±æ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-11 365

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04