무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

.

작성자: 김*인
2025-03-23 151

회원님의 영작문

I don't know about education systems of every countries so that I'm not sure which country has the best education system. I lately watched a YouTube video about Finland's education system and thought it was very well structured. I'll talk about why I thought in this way.
I believe that ultimate purpose of education is preparing an independent life as an adult especially education during childhood. Finland's education not only focuses on conveying specific knowledge like general systems but also on how to let student find one's talent and help making foundation of their own life. For example, they have vague boundary between academic and business high school that students were able to try both both classes and switch classes whenever they want. This let students to be independent and build their life through their own choices. Finland's education system of giving students their chance seemed desirable to me because Korea's education hardly cares about each students interest.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. WooIn! Interesting! This can be very different from the other systems like Korea’s, where the focus might be more on test scores and competition rather than fostering creativity or personal growth. Thank you for sharing!
-T. Sonny
I don't know about education systems of every countries so that I'm not sure which country has the best education system. 
>>I don't know much about the education systems of every country, so I'm not sure which one is the best.
I lately watched a YouTube video about Finland's education system and thought it was very well structured. 
>>Recently, I watched a YouTube video about Finland's education system and thought it was very well structured. 
I'll talk about why I thought in this way.
>>Let me explain why I think this way.
I believe that ultimate purpose of education is preparing an independent life as an adult especially education during childhood. 
>>I believe that the ultimate purpose of education, especially during childhood, is to prepare students for an independent life as adults.
Finland's education not only focuses on conveying specific knowledge like general systems but also on how to let student find one's talent and help making foundation of their own life. 
>>Finland's education system not only focuses on conveying specific knowledge, like general education systems do, but also on helping students discover their talents and build a foundation for their future life.
For example, they have vague boundary between academic and business high school that students were able to try both both classes and switch classes whenever they want. 
>>For example, they have a flexible boundary between academic and vocational high schools, allowing students to try both types of classes and switch between them whenever they want
This let students to be independent and build their life through their own choices. 
>>This flexibility allows students to become more independent and build their lives based on their own choices.
Finland's education system of giving students their chance seemed desirable to me because Korea's education hardly cares about each students interest.
>>I find Finland’s approach of giving students more opportunities to shape their own path very desirable, especially compared to Korea's education system, which often doesn't prioritize each student's personal interests."

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
143365 What is the tallest building you have visited? 진*호 완료 2025-04-01 2
143364 Do you think flexible working hours are beneficial? Why or why... 윤*인 완료 2025-04-01 2
143363 HOMEWORK: What thing will you not give to anyone? why? 이*희 완료 2025-04-01 93
143362 Do you ever think that some music is just noise? 양*정 완료 2025-04-01 2
143361 What meal would you prepare for a guest from another country? 양*정 완료 2025-04-01 1
143360 What is your idea of the best travel experience? 조*명 완료 2025-04-01 5
143359 What meal would you prepare for a guest from another country? 권*진 완료 2025-04-01 1
143358 weak 민*정 완료 2025-04-01 1
143357 What is the deepest part of the ocean? What can we find there? 차*혁 완료 2025-04-01 100
143356 never 민*정 완료 2025-04-01 2
143355 past 민*정 완료 2025-04-01 1
143354 What factors influence a career choice? 임* 완료 2025-04-01 2
143353 What is the most environmentally friendly form of... 김*환 완료 2025-04-01 1
143352 Where is it best to do some workout ? 박*호 완료 2025-04-01 117
143351 Homework 박*준 완료 2025-04-01 111
143350 2025.03.31 homework! 이*준 완료 2025-04-01 101
143349 gap 권*희 완료 2025-04-01 110
143348 Do you believe cheating can ever be justified in certain... 최*연 완료 2025-04-01 120
143347 Can you think of a situation where using the wrong greeting... 임*미 완료 2025-04-01 111
143346 HOMEWORK 이*아 완료 2025-04-01 114

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]