¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*Çö
2025-03-20 177

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



please check my homework

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Bo Hyeon!
Your response does a great job of explaining why you admire Mark and highlighting his dedication. To make your writing even stronger, focus on improving sentence structure and grammar. Some sentences are a bit unclear due to word order and verb tense mistakes. For example, instead of "He never show the disappointmenting moment," it should be "He never shows moments of disappointment." "Even though" is stronger and more emphatic than "although." Also, try to use smoother transitions to make your ideas flow better. Keep practicing, and your writing will become even more natural and fluent! ^^ Let's talk more about this later in the class. See you~ 
~ Trixia

HOMEWORK:
I admire one of the k-pop group, called NCT because NCT is representing the K-pop and always trying to show the best moment.
NCT has 4 different groups and especially I respect Mark who NCT member, working in the group in addition he is a leader in a group.
- I admire a K-pop group called NCT because they represent K-pop and always strive to deliver their best performances. NCT has four different subgroups, and I especially respect Mark, who is a member of NCT and also a leader in one of the groups.
He never show the disappointmenting moment, such as didn¡¯t song and dance practice or lost the gratitude of fan.
- He never shows moments of disappointment, whether during song and dance practice or in front of his fans. 
Although even he is working in a both group, NCT127, NCTDREAM, he always makes effert to make best stage and expresses his emotion anout his fan.
- Even though he works in both NCT 127 and NCT Dream, he always puts in effort to create amazing performances and express his emotions to his fans.
When I watched video of his stage at first, I thought that how can person likes own job and enjoy it?
Now I realized it, Enjoying his job and didn¡¯t lazy of his work, the reason he made successful singer and also the reason I admire and love him.
- When I first watched a video of his performance, I wondered how someone could enjoy their job so much. Now, I understand—he truly loves what he does and works hard without laziness. His dedication is the reason he became a successful singer, and it¡¯s also why I admire and love him.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143093 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-03-18 368
143092 Can you think of a time when you went the extra mile for someone... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-18 2
143091 Expectation of class ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 348
143090 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 250
143089 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 0
143088 What is your favorite Mexican food? ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 261
143087 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 339
143086 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 1
143085 Yes, I believe in ghosts. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 278
143084 collecting È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 315
143083 English is very useful for global high-school student. ±è*¿î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 4
143082 What are the pros of socializing with other people? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 350
143081 What¡¯s the one ingredient you always hen. s have in your... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 3
143080 Should Korea create laws for digital inheritance rights, or... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 264
143079 Homework. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 1
143078 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 345
143077 How often do you get takeout? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 1
143076 2025.03.17 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 254
143075 The homework of 14th Fab. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 272
143074 Opic intrduction Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-17 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04