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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

The homework of 14th Fab.

작성자: 조*호
2025-03-14 316

회원님의 영작문

Q : Can you think of a time when you stood by someone-or someone stood by you-through thick and thin? What was the situation, and how did it affect your relationship? Describe your experience in detail.

A : Yes. The People who stood by me thick and thin are my mother and grand mother.
When i was young, my parents divorced.
So, i lived with my grand mother. She dedicated to care me and younger brother.
Although we was poor, she tried to do her best to us. So we can be grown well. I am missing her.
Also, my mother always care and help us by giving money, attending events in school and so on.
By the efforts of them, we can be grown well.
I could feel safe always due to love of them.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Eddy!

This is such a heartfelt and touching essay. Thank you for sharing such an important part of your life. It feels so nice to read your writing, and I can feel the love and gratitude you have for your mother and grandmother.

Your story shows how strong and caring they were for you and your younger brother, even when life was difficult. It’s truly inspiring how they stood by you, making sure you were safe, cared for, and able to grow up well. The way you express your emotions makes your writing even more special.

Keep writing with this honesty and warmth, you’re doing an amazing job!

~Teacher Cathy

 

Yes. The People who stood by me thick and thin are my mother and grand mother.

>>Yes. The people who stood by me through thick and thin were my mother and grandmother.

When I was young, my parents divorced.

>>CORRECT

OR>>When I was young, my parents separated.

So, i lived with my grand mother. She dedicated to care me and younger brother.

>>So, I lived with my grandmother. She dedicated herself to taking care of me and my younger brother.

Although we was poor, she tried to do her best to us. So we can be grown well. I am missing her.

>>Although we were poor, she did her best for us so that we could grow up well. I miss her.

Also, my mother always care and help us by giving money, attending events in school and so on.

>>Also, my mother always cared for and helped us by providing financial support, attending school events, and so on.

By the efforts of them, we can be grown well.

>>Because of their efforts, we were able to grow up well.

I could feel safe always due to love of them.

>>I always felt safe because of their love.

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