¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you like to do in your free time?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-03-14 186

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to do something that makes my mind and body comfortable together in my free time.
But even though my body is resting, I find myself my mind constantly thinks about something.
I don't know if I'll ever find a real rest which both my mind and body are comfortable while I'm alive.
Because I feel more tired if the work that I thought was resting both in mind and body takes a little longer.
The free time I want doesn't matter what I do, but it's the time when I can do what comes to mind.
Time to control my rest and tension and doing what comes to mind right away, that's what I want to do in my free time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David, you¡¯ve expressed your thoughts deeply and meaningfully! I made some corrections to improve clarity, sentence flow, and natural phrasing. Your writing effectively conveys the struggle of finding true rest, which makes it very relatable. Keep up the great work!

~ T. Lia

I want to do something that makes my mind and body comfortable together in my free time.
>> I want to do something that makes both my mind and body feel at ease in my free time.

But even though my body is resting, I find myself my mind constantly thinks about something.
>> But even when my body is resting, I find that my mind is constantly thinking about something.

I don't know if I'll ever find a real rest which both my mind and body are comfortable while I'm alive.
>> I don't know if I'll ever experience true rest, where both my mind and body feel at ease, while I'm alive.

Because I feel more tired if the work that I thought was resting both in mind and body takes a little longer.
>> In fact, I feel even more tired if an activity I thought would be restful for both my mind and body lasts too long.

The free time I want doesn't matter what I do, but it's the time when I can do what comes to mind.
>> The kind of free time I want isn¡¯t about what I do, but about having the freedom to do whatever comes to mind.

Time to control my rest and tension and doing what comes to mind right away, that's what I want to do in my free time.
>> Having the ability to balance rest and tension while doing whatever comes to mind, that¡¯s what I truly want in my free time. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143040 My regret and plan ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-14 250
143039 homework ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-14 0
143038 Would you like to live in your hometown for the rest of your... °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2025-03-14 2
143037 Write the correct possessive pronoun ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 0
143036 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 1
143035 What is your opinion on online shopping? Have you ever had a... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 0
143034 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 239
143033 Do you like reading books or watching movies more? Why? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 0
143032 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 210
143031 Do you often spend weekends with family or friends? Why or why... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 0
143030 Can you think of a time when you or someone you know hit the... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 3
143029 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 222
143028 What places would you recommend for foreigners to visit in your... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 3
143027 work-life balance life ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 197
143026 reasons of work-life balance and how to have better life ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 203
143025 work life balance ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 217
143024 How will you tell your friend that the food she prepared for 2... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 219
143023 homework ½É*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 216
143022 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 215
143021 Have you ever felt like you were burning the candle at both... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-13 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04