¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you like to do in your free time?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-03-14 124

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to do something that makes my mind and body comfortable together in my free time.
But even though my body is resting, I find myself my mind constantly thinks about something.
I don't know if I'll ever find a real rest which both my mind and body are comfortable while I'm alive.
Because I feel more tired if the work that I thought was resting both in mind and body takes a little longer.
The free time I want doesn't matter what I do, but it's the time when I can do what comes to mind.
Time to control my rest and tension and doing what comes to mind right away, that's what I want to do in my free time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David, you¡¯ve expressed your thoughts deeply and meaningfully! I made some corrections to improve clarity, sentence flow, and natural phrasing. Your writing effectively conveys the struggle of finding true rest, which makes it very relatable. Keep up the great work!

~ T. Lia

I want to do something that makes my mind and body comfortable together in my free time.
>> I want to do something that makes both my mind and body feel at ease in my free time.

But even though my body is resting, I find myself my mind constantly thinks about something.
>> But even when my body is resting, I find that my mind is constantly thinking about something.

I don't know if I'll ever find a real rest which both my mind and body are comfortable while I'm alive.
>> I don't know if I'll ever experience true rest, where both my mind and body feel at ease, while I'm alive.

Because I feel more tired if the work that I thought was resting both in mind and body takes a little longer.
>> In fact, I feel even more tired if an activity I thought would be restful for both my mind and body lasts too long.

The free time I want doesn't matter what I do, but it's the time when I can do what comes to mind.
>> The kind of free time I want isn¡¯t about what I do, but about having the freedom to do whatever comes to mind.

Time to control my rest and tension and doing what comes to mind right away, that's what I want to do in my free time.
>> Having the ability to balance rest and tension while doing whatever comes to mind, that¡¯s what I truly want in my free time. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142815 How does your friend feel about his brother going to the army? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-02 229
142814 What are the advantages of a homogeneous society? What about the... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-02 220
142813 Is standardized examination the best way to test a student\'s... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-02 247
142812 fashion ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-02 0
142811 look ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-02 0
142810 gym ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-02 0
142809 If i can choose past or future of 10 years.. ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-03-02 241
142808 What are some famous foods from your hometown? Á¶*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-02 181
142807 Do you think holidays are too commercialized? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-02 264
142806 Some companies use a flexible time schedule and employees can... ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-01 195
142805 What kind of food do you not like? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-03-01 1
142804 Have you ever heard about the MZ Generation before? What do you... ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-03-01 2
142803 How important is customer service in a restaurant? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-02-28 239
142802 Describe your ideal supermarket. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-28 250
142801 Annoying requests È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-28 257
142800 So nice winter break ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-28 2
142799 Describe a wolf. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-28 245
142798 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-28 257
142797 Who do you usually go to restaurants with? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-28 1
142796 In what ways can tourism help improve a country\'s... °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2025-02-28 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04