¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÀÎ
2025-03-10 185

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I totally agree with the opinion that sports are important part of education.
First of all, by sports students can improve their physical strength. And this physical strength is basic for the everything in the world. Even studying, that seems to work out without lots of movement, actually requires lots of stamina, since the one has to be keep focused by using his or her brain. To let students try various things without strength limitation, it's necessary to help reinforce stamina by educating sports.
Second, sports help students have strong mental health. In sports games, students experience competing with each other. Sometimes they are winner but sometimes they are loser. Through this they learn how to control their own minds. And in the process of working hard to win they can understand the hardships they have to overcome to achieve a goal and they would be able to handle more stressful things later.
Therefore I think sports are necessary in the education.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Ms. WooIn! I completely agree with you! They offer much more than physical fitness; they teach life skills that will benefit students long after they graduate. Thank you for sharing!
-T. Sonny
I totally agree with the opinion that sports are important part of education.
>>I totally agree with the opinion that sports are an important part of education.
First of all, by sports students can improve their physical strength. 
>>First of all, sports help students improve their physical strength.
And this physical strength is basic for the everything in the world. 
>>This physical strength is fundamental for everything in the world.
Even studying, that seems to work out without lots of movement, actually requires lots of stamina, since the one has to be keep focused by using his or her brain. 
>>Even studying, which might seem like it doesn¡¯t require much physical movement, actually demands a lot of stamina because one must stay focused and use their brain.
To let students try various things without strength limitation, it's necessary to help reinforce stamina by educating sports.
>>To allow students to try various activities without being limited by physical strength, it is necessary to help reinforce stamina through sports education.
Second, sports help students have strong mental health. 
>>Second, sports help students have mental strength.
In sports games, students experience competing with each other. 
>>In sports competitions, students experience both winning and losing.
Sometimes they are winner but sometimes they are loser. 
>>Sometimes they are winners, but sometimes they are losers.
Through this they learn how to control their own minds. 
>>Through this, they learn how to control their emotions and manage both success and failure.
And in the process of working hard to win they can understand the hardships they have to overcome to achieve a goal and they would be able to handle more stressful things later.
>>Additionally, by working hard to achieve victory, they understand the challenges they must overcome to reach their goals and help them develop the resilience to handle more stressful situations in the future.
Therefore I think sports are necessary in the education.
>>Therefore, I believe sports are necessary in education.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142398 Homework for February 05 À¯*±â ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1
142397 Talk about the best experience you\'ve had at a restaurant. ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 382
142396 annoying greeting ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1
142395 What¡¯s the best part of your morning? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 2
142394 What¡¯s the most painful accident you¡¯ve experienced at home? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 2
142393 Memorable experience I have had in New Zealand È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 617
142392 HOMEWORK ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 0
142391 The only way to have a friend is to be one ±è*·É ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 227
142390 What do you think are the negative effects of tourism? °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 3
142389 What kind of music do you listen to when you\'re sad? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 621
142388 Have you ever tried any extreme sports? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 687
142387 What kind of news do you often read or watch? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 546
142386 vested rights ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 584
142385 Talk about the most interesting book that you read. ÀÓ*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 566
142384 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 1
142383 Who would you like to see perform live, and why? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 2
142382 Homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 503
142381 Homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 619
142380 Homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 590
142379 Do you think you need pocket money? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 602

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04