¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2025-02-26 669

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think studying international news is a great thing. This is because by studying international news, we can know the international trend and make the right choices accordingly.
However, there are some people who do not think so. What we learn at school is basic. In other words, we learn the things that people need to live. Examples are math, science, society, and history. We can become better people by learning these basic studies.
There is nothing international about these basic studies. Rather, there are people who think that it can confuse students.
I disagree with that. International studies are necessary, and as I mentioned earlier, it is essential to read the flow well and make good choices.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee~!^^ You did an excellent job establishing the context and clearly outlining the central theme of your essay. By presenting a thoughtful opening, you set a strong foundation for the argument that follows, making it easy for the reader to understand the direction of your analysis. The way you framed the issue not only engages but also encourages a deeper exploration of the topic in the body of the essay.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think studying international news is a great thing.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
 This is because by studying international news, we can know the international trend and make the right choices accordingly.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
However, there are some people who do not think so.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
 What we learn at school is basic. 
>>>CORRECT~!^^
In other words, we learn the things that people need to live. 
>>>CORRECT~!^^
Examples are math, science, society, and history. 
>>>CORRECT~!^^
We can become better people by learning these basic studies.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
There is nothing international about these basic studies. 
>>>CORRECT~!^^
Rather, there are people who think that it can confuse students.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
I disagree with that. International studies are necessary, and as I mentioned earlier, it is essential to read the flow well and make good choices.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142341 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 823
142340 What is work-life balance and why is it important? ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 859
142339 2/5 HOMEWORK ±è*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 2
142338 Do you think money can make people happy? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 826
142337 Have you ever owed someone? How? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 785
142336 River Flows In You ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1
142335 homework~ (What are the last thing you did~?) Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 667
142334 What are effective ways to keep our minds sharp as we age? Do... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 693
142333 Why do many couples in Korea choose not to have children, even... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 3
142332 I did my homework.🤗 ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 817
142331 my least favorite music genres ±è*·É ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1
142330 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 662
142329 What¡¯s your favorite memory with your siblings? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 2
142328 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 751
142327 dairy ±è*³ë ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 826
142326 a big house ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1
142325 Have you ever been in a situation where you had to say no to a... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 853
142324 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 560
142323 next lesson Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 841
142322 How do you feel about being Top 1 in your violin class? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 843

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04