¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2025-02-26 36

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think studying international news is a great thing. This is because by studying international news, we can know the international trend and make the right choices accordingly.
However, there are some people who do not think so. What we learn at school is basic. In other words, we learn the things that people need to live. Examples are math, science, society, and history. We can become better people by learning these basic studies.
There is nothing international about these basic studies. Rather, there are people who think that it can confuse students.
I disagree with that. International studies are necessary, and as I mentioned earlier, it is essential to read the flow well and make good choices.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee~!^^ You did an excellent job establishing the context and clearly outlining the central theme of your essay. By presenting a thoughtful opening, you set a strong foundation for the argument that follows, making it easy for the reader to understand the direction of your analysis. The way you framed the issue not only engages but also encourages a deeper exploration of the topic in the body of the essay.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think studying international news is a great thing.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
 This is because by studying international news, we can know the international trend and make the right choices accordingly.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
However, there are some people who do not think so.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
 What we learn at school is basic. 
>>>CORRECT~!^^
In other words, we learn the things that people need to live. 
>>>CORRECT~!^^
Examples are math, science, society, and history. 
>>>CORRECT~!^^
We can become better people by learning these basic studies.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
There is nothing international about these basic studies. 
>>>CORRECT~!^^
Rather, there are people who think that it can confuse students.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
I disagree with that. International studies are necessary, and as I mentioned earlier, it is essential to read the flow well and make good choices.
>>>CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142164 Talk about your best memory from a holiday. Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2025-01-24 10
142163 What are some things you always take with you on a trip? Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2025-01-24 5
142162 Trump\'s policies ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-24 390
142161 Do you prefer making phone calls or sending text messages, and... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2025-01-24 3
142160 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-24 421
142159 For what reason will you say that a restaurant has bad service? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-24 400
142158 like thief ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 515
142157 Should kids bring their phones to school? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 487
142156 Homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 409
142155 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 393
142154 What\'s the most popular newspaper in Korea? What kind of... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 394
142153 Talk about the best food that you\'ve eaten at a restaurant. ÀÓ*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 385
142152 Solve any problems after calm down ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 1
142151 What is your favorite way to spend a long holiday? ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 358
142150 My favorite looks in daily ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 390
142149 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 451
142148 I\'m proud of myself for still living well. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 423
142147 How significant is it for a country to be an ally of a country? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 427
142146 That can\'t be right. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 486
142145 Because they don\'t think it\'s a dangerous thing. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 371

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04