무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Should schools teach controversial cultural issues? (Ex: Some pro-LQBTQ+ groups insist sexual orient

작성자: 문*현
2025-02-24 7

회원님의 영작문

There are pro LGBTQ groups insisting that sexual orientation must be educated in the earliest stage before the children can form the way of thinking. In this way, many LGBTQ proponents insist that child can accept the ideology without repulsion. The group indicate as children grow older, they will be exposed to more biased content so it would be challenging at that point. I partially agree with the idea that gender education needs to be done in early stage so children can naturally perceive the LGBTQ. However, education should be provided at least at the stage where children can form their opinion. By educating the gender concept in early stage might lead to a problem children not perceiving information seriously. I was astonished that there are increasing population in United States that undergo transgender surgery before 18 which is dangerous. Accordingly, schools must teach controversial issues, but it should be done when students can express their opinion not as a play.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Aciel. I agree, kids should learn the concept of sexual orientation when they are old enough to be logical and reasonable about critical issues.

There are pro LGBTQ groups insisting that sexual orientation must be educated in the earliest stage before the children can form the way of thinking. 
>>> correct 
>>> OR: There are pro LGBTQ groups insisting that sexual orientation must be educated in the earliest stage before the children's way of thinking is established.
In this way, many LGBTQ proponents insist that child can accept the ideology without repulsion. 
>>>  In this way, many LGBTQ proponents insist that the child can accept the ideology without repulsion. 
The group indicate as children grow older, they will be exposed to more biased content so it would be challenging at that point. 
>>>  correct 
I partially agree with the idea that gender education needs to be done in early stage so children can naturally perceive the LGBTQ. 
>>>  correct 
>>>  OR: I partially agree with the idea that gender education needs to be done in the early stage so children can naturally perceive the concept of LGBTQ. 
However, education should be provided at least at the stage where children can form their opinion. 
>>>  correct 
By educating the gender concept in early stage might lead to a problem children not perceiving information seriously. 
>>> Educating them about the gender concept in an early stage might lead to a problem of children not perceiving information seriously.  
I was astonished that there are increasing population in United States that undergo transgender surgery before 18 which is dangerous. 
>>>  correct 
Accordingly, schools must teach controversial issues, but it should be done when students can express their opinion not as a play.
>>> correct  
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
142647 If you were to buy an older iPhone today, which model would you... 윤*원 완료 2025-02-21 0
142646 Meeting new people 김*인 완료 2025-02-21 42
142645 homework 김*연 완료 2025-02-20 2
142644 Is getting a divorce a wise decision? 손*희 완료 2025-02-20 134
142643 homework 김*우 완료 2025-02-20 2
142642 How do you define violence? Why do you think violence occurs in... 정*영 완료 2025-02-20 136
142641 The homework for February 19th. 조*호 완료 2025-02-20 138
142640 Why do you think body language is important? 한*연 완료 2025-02-20 138
142639 The five ways to protect our bodies, especially washing hands 김*우 완료 2025-02-20 2
142638 What is your favorite shop in your neighborhood, and why? 이*범 완료 2025-02-20 2
142637 At night~ 정*희 완료 2025-02-20 138
142636 2025.02.20 homework! 이*준 완료 2025-02-20 139
142635 If you could go on vacation anywhere in the world for free,... 송*자 완료 2025-02-20 1
142634 Homework🥰 오*영 완료 2025-02-20 139
142633 introduction of yourself 이*아 완료 2025-02-20 142
142632 Homework 이*숙 완료 2025-02-20 135
142631 How important is patience for a violin class leader? 노*철 완료 2025-02-20 139
142630 Homework 이*민 완료 2025-02-20 146
142629 young fashion 민*정 완료 2025-02-20 1
142628 hurt 민*정 완료 2025-02-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]