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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Which place is the best place to go to see the cherry blossoms ?

작성자: 박*호
2025-02-24 206

회원님의 영작문

In Korea, flowers symbolize spring and begining.
When flowers begin to bloom in March, the weather begins warm up and new semester begins for students.
So all koreans really like spring. in my case, I start enjoying golf in the field.
The first flower will be a yellow forsythia.
Next, white magnolias and pink azaleas bloom.
And in April, white and pink cherry blossoms bloom.
The cherry blossoms are really gorgeous, so festivals to enjoy cherry blossoms are held all over the country.
Among the festivals, the one held near the Naval Academy on the southern coast of Korea is famous, and the festival along the Han River in Seoul is also visited by many people.
However, I would like to highly recommend the Children's Grand Park Festival in Seoul.
The place is open at night when the cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and the night view with the cherry blossoms is truly fantastic.
I hope you to visit there someday and enjoy the night view.
And I am willing to invite you there if you want.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Soon Ho^^
Thank you for sharing.
That's really interesting. 
I have always dreamed of seeing the cherry blossoms with my own eyes. 
_T. SHAY^^
***
In Korea, flowers symbolize spring and begining.
>>In Korea, flowers symbolize spring and beginning.
OR: In Korea, flowers represent spring and beginnings.
When flowers begin to bloom in March, the weather begins warm up and new semester begins for students.
>>When flowers begin to bloom in March, the temperature begins to rise and a new semester begins for the students.
OR: When flowers begin to bloom in March, the weather gets warmer and a new semester begins for the students.
So all koreans really like spring.
>>So, all Koreans really like spring.
OR: In other words, all Koreans like spring.
In my case, I start enjoying golf in the field.
>>In my case, I start playing golf in the field.
OR: In my case, it's the best time to start enjoying field golf.
The first flower will be a yellow forsythia.
>>The first flower to bloom is the yellow forsythia.
Next, white magnolias and pink azaleas bloom.
>>Correct
OR: After the yellow forsythias, it's followed by white magnolias and pink azaleas. 
And in April, white and pink cherry blossoms bloom.
>>Correct
OR: And finally in April white and pink cherry blossoms bloom.
The cherry blossoms are really gorgeous, so festivals to enjoy cherry blossoms are held all over the country.
>>The cherry blossoms are really gorgeous, so festivals are held all over the country to enjoy the cherry blossoms.
Among the festivals, the one held near the Naval Academy on the southern coast of Korea is famous, and the festival along the Han River in Seoul is also visited by many people.
>>Correct
OR: Among all the festival, there are two famous ones - the cherry blossom festival held near the Naval Academy on the southern coast the one held along the Han River in Seoul.
However, I would like to highly recommend the Children's Grand Park Festival in Seoul.
>>However, I highly recommend the Children's Grand Park Festival in Seoul.
OR: However, I would like to recommend the Children's Grand Park Festival in Seoul.
The place is open at night when the cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and the night view with the cherry blossoms is truly fantastic.
>>Correct
OR: It is open at night when the cherry blossoms are in full bloom. The night view and the fully-bloomed cherry blossoms create a magnificent sight.
I hope you to visit there someday and enjoy the night view.
>>I hope you visit that place someday and enjoy the night view.
And I am willing to invite you there if you want.
>>Correct
OR: I am willing to give you a tour there.
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