¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

introduction of yourself

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2025-02-20 235

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯m Hyuna Lee and my English name is Isabelle.
When I sayed it, People asked me if I¡¯m christian.
because ¡®Isabelle¡¯ sounds like a baptismal name.
but I¡¯m not. I just liked it and decided to do it.

I'm 29 years old in Korea age.

I from south korea and I lived in ¡®Asan¡¯ my whole life.

I am currently working as a designer.
and my main job is developing patterns for tiles like wood or stone, texture design.
I¡¯m satisfied with my current job.
but I¡¯m also exploring other opportunities to work at a better company.
I aim to work for a company that will provide me with a stable finance and position.

My hobby is hiking.
There are a lot of mountains in my country, and I love going to them.
Being in the forest make me feel so peaceful and It¡¯s also fun to go with friends, have a picnic, and chat together.
I usually go to a mountain near my house.
and I try to go whenever I have free time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Isabelle!
Thank you for your hard work! ^^ Great job sharing about yourself! Just watch for word choices and sentence flow. Here are some refinements for clarity and natural phrasing.

"sayed" ¡æ "said" (past tense correction)
"People" ¡æ "people" (no capital letter needed)
"I from South Korea" ¡æ "I am from South Korea" (missing verb)
"in Korea age" ¡æ "in Korean age" (natural phrasing)
"developing patterns for tiles like wood or stone, texture design." ¡æ "developing tile patterns that resemble wood and stone." (more natural)
"Being in the forest make me feel" ¡æ "Being in the forest makes me feel" (subject-verb agreement)

Your content is great—these small tweaks will make it even smoother!

CONTENT:
I¡¯m Hyuna Lee and my English name is Isabelle.
- CORRECT.
When I sayed it, People asked me if I¡¯m christian.
because ¡®Isabelle¡¯ sounds like a baptismal name.
but I¡¯m not. 
- When I said it, people asked me if I¡¯m Christian
because ¡®Isabelle¡¯ sounds like a baptismal name,
but I¡¯m not. 
I just liked it and decided to do it.
-  I just liked it and decided to use it.

I'm 29 years old in Korea age.
- I'm 29 years old in Korean age.

I from south korea and I lived in ¡®Asan¡¯ my whole life.
- I am from South Korea, and I have lived in ¡®Asan¡¯ my whole life.

I am currently working as a designer. and my main job is developing patterns for tiles like wood or stone, texture design.
- I am currently working as a designer,
and my main job is developing patterns for tiles like wood and stone textures.
I¡¯m satisfied with my current job.
but I¡¯m also exploring other opportunities to work at a better company.
- I¡¯m satisfied with my current job,
but I¡¯m also exploring other opportunities to work at a better company.
I aim to work for a company that will provide me with a stable finance and position.
- CORRECT.

My hobby is hiking.
- CORRECT.
There are a lot of mountains in my country, and I love going to them.
- CORRECT.
Being in the forest make me feel so peaceful and It¡¯s also fun to go with friends, have a picnic, and chat together.
Being in the forest makes me feel so peaceful, and it¡¯s also fun to go with friends, have a picnic, and chat together.
I usually go to a mountain near my house.
and I try to go whenever I have free time.
- I usually go to a mountain near my house, and I try to go whenever I have free time.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140866 fowers ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-08 0
140865 HOMEWORK FOR 11.08.2024 WRITING TASK: How can you maintain a... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-08 3
140864 by a lake ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-08 0
140863 Cultural experience in Taiwan ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-08 1059
140862 In a world filled with quick-fix fitness trends, how can we... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-11-08 964
140861 If you could switch jobs, what job would you choose to do? ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-08 992
140860 Homewoke À±*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-08 1022
140859 Homework ¾ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-08 741
140858 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 1
140857 Do you respect your country\'s president? Explain your answer. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 987
140856 What don\'t you like about your class in school? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 963
140855 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 924
140854 In what ways does immigration benefit a country? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 949
140853 Recipe Of Curry ¾È*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 1299
140852 What do you usually order when you eat out? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 1126
140851 What do you think are the most important qualities of a good... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 1
140850 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 3
140849 I\'m a main pasta chef in my home! ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 1030
140848 Home work for Wednesday ( 6th Novemder ) ±è*¿ë ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 1157
140847 I want to purchase my own house one day. ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 989

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04