¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

introduction of yourself

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2025-02-20 667

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯m Hyuna Lee and my English name is Isabelle.
When I sayed it, People asked me if I¡¯m christian.
because ¡®Isabelle¡¯ sounds like a baptismal name.
but I¡¯m not. I just liked it and decided to do it.

I'm 29 years old in Korea age.

I from south korea and I lived in ¡®Asan¡¯ my whole life.

I am currently working as a designer.
and my main job is developing patterns for tiles like wood or stone, texture design.
I¡¯m satisfied with my current job.
but I¡¯m also exploring other opportunities to work at a better company.
I aim to work for a company that will provide me with a stable finance and position.

My hobby is hiking.
There are a lot of mountains in my country, and I love going to them.
Being in the forest make me feel so peaceful and It¡¯s also fun to go with friends, have a picnic, and chat together.
I usually go to a mountain near my house.
and I try to go whenever I have free time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Isabelle!
Thank you for your hard work! ^^ Great job sharing about yourself! Just watch for word choices and sentence flow. Here are some refinements for clarity and natural phrasing.

"sayed" ¡æ "said" (past tense correction)
"People" ¡æ "people" (no capital letter needed)
"I from South Korea" ¡æ "I am from South Korea" (missing verb)
"in Korea age" ¡æ "in Korean age" (natural phrasing)
"developing patterns for tiles like wood or stone, texture design." ¡æ "developing tile patterns that resemble wood and stone." (more natural)
"Being in the forest make me feel" ¡æ "Being in the forest makes me feel" (subject-verb agreement)

Your content is great—these small tweaks will make it even smoother!

CONTENT:
I¡¯m Hyuna Lee and my English name is Isabelle.
- CORRECT.
When I sayed it, People asked me if I¡¯m christian.
because ¡®Isabelle¡¯ sounds like a baptismal name.
but I¡¯m not. 
- When I said it, people asked me if I¡¯m Christian
because ¡®Isabelle¡¯ sounds like a baptismal name,
but I¡¯m not. 
I just liked it and decided to do it.
-  I just liked it and decided to use it.

I'm 29 years old in Korea age.
- I'm 29 years old in Korean age.

I from south korea and I lived in ¡®Asan¡¯ my whole life.
- I am from South Korea, and I have lived in ¡®Asan¡¯ my whole life.

I am currently working as a designer. and my main job is developing patterns for tiles like wood or stone, texture design.
- I am currently working as a designer,
and my main job is developing patterns for tiles like wood and stone textures.
I¡¯m satisfied with my current job.
but I¡¯m also exploring other opportunities to work at a better company.
- I¡¯m satisfied with my current job,
but I¡¯m also exploring other opportunities to work at a better company.
I aim to work for a company that will provide me with a stable finance and position.
- CORRECT.

My hobby is hiking.
- CORRECT.
There are a lot of mountains in my country, and I love going to them.
- CORRECT.
Being in the forest make me feel so peaceful and It¡¯s also fun to go with friends, have a picnic, and chat together.
Being in the forest makes me feel so peaceful, and it¡¯s also fun to go with friends, have a picnic, and chat together.
I usually go to a mountain near my house.
and I try to go whenever I have free time.
- I usually go to a mountain near my house, and I try to go whenever I have free time.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142401 big ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 0
142400 tool ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 0
142399 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 664
142398 Homework for February 05 À¯*±â ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1
142397 Talk about the best experience you\'ve had at a restaurant. ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 700
142396 annoying greeting ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 1
142395 What¡¯s the best part of your morning? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 2
142394 What¡¯s the most painful accident you¡¯ve experienced at home? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 2
142393 Memorable experience I have had in New Zealand È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 860
142392 HOMEWORK ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 0
142391 The only way to have a friend is to be one ±è*·É ¿Ï·á 2025-02-10 341
142390 What do you think are the negative effects of tourism? °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 3
142389 What kind of music do you listen to when you\'re sad? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 905
142388 Have you ever tried any extreme sports? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 899
142387 What kind of news do you often read or watch? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 998
142386 vested rights ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 867
142385 Talk about the most interesting book that you read. ÀÓ*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 917
142384 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 1
142383 Who would you like to see perform live, and why? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 2
142382 Homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-09 764

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04