¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

introduction of yourself

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2025-02-20 631

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯m Hyuna Lee and my English name is Isabelle.
When I sayed it, People asked me if I¡¯m christian.
because ¡®Isabelle¡¯ sounds like a baptismal name.
but I¡¯m not. I just liked it and decided to do it.

I'm 29 years old in Korea age.

I from south korea and I lived in ¡®Asan¡¯ my whole life.

I am currently working as a designer.
and my main job is developing patterns for tiles like wood or stone, texture design.
I¡¯m satisfied with my current job.
but I¡¯m also exploring other opportunities to work at a better company.
I aim to work for a company that will provide me with a stable finance and position.

My hobby is hiking.
There are a lot of mountains in my country, and I love going to them.
Being in the forest make me feel so peaceful and It¡¯s also fun to go with friends, have a picnic, and chat together.
I usually go to a mountain near my house.
and I try to go whenever I have free time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Isabelle!
Thank you for your hard work! ^^ Great job sharing about yourself! Just watch for word choices and sentence flow. Here are some refinements for clarity and natural phrasing.

"sayed" ¡æ "said" (past tense correction)
"People" ¡æ "people" (no capital letter needed)
"I from South Korea" ¡æ "I am from South Korea" (missing verb)
"in Korea age" ¡æ "in Korean age" (natural phrasing)
"developing patterns for tiles like wood or stone, texture design." ¡æ "developing tile patterns that resemble wood and stone." (more natural)
"Being in the forest make me feel" ¡æ "Being in the forest makes me feel" (subject-verb agreement)

Your content is great—these small tweaks will make it even smoother!

CONTENT:
I¡¯m Hyuna Lee and my English name is Isabelle.
- CORRECT.
When I sayed it, People asked me if I¡¯m christian.
because ¡®Isabelle¡¯ sounds like a baptismal name.
but I¡¯m not. 
- When I said it, people asked me if I¡¯m Christian
because ¡®Isabelle¡¯ sounds like a baptismal name,
but I¡¯m not. 
I just liked it and decided to do it.
-  I just liked it and decided to use it.

I'm 29 years old in Korea age.
- I'm 29 years old in Korean age.

I from south korea and I lived in ¡®Asan¡¯ my whole life.
- I am from South Korea, and I have lived in ¡®Asan¡¯ my whole life.

I am currently working as a designer. and my main job is developing patterns for tiles like wood or stone, texture design.
- I am currently working as a designer,
and my main job is developing patterns for tiles like wood and stone textures.
I¡¯m satisfied with my current job.
but I¡¯m also exploring other opportunities to work at a better company.
- I¡¯m satisfied with my current job,
but I¡¯m also exploring other opportunities to work at a better company.
I aim to work for a company that will provide me with a stable finance and position.
- CORRECT.

My hobby is hiking.
- CORRECT.
There are a lot of mountains in my country, and I love going to them.
- CORRECT.
Being in the forest make me feel so peaceful and It¡¯s also fun to go with friends, have a picnic, and chat together.
Being in the forest makes me feel so peaceful, and it¡¯s also fun to go with friends, have a picnic, and chat together.
I usually go to a mountain near my house.
and I try to go whenever I have free time.
- I usually go to a mountain near my house, and I try to go whenever I have free time.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142749 homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-26 616
142748 homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-26 442
142747 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-26 364
142746 accident ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-26 417
142745 2/25 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-26 0
142744 What kind of food do you prefer having in the restaurant ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-26 443
142743 As a citizen, what would make you most satisfied with the... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-26 435
142742 Express my appreciation ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-26 424
142741 script Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-26 408
142740 Page 31 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-26 0
142739 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 1
142738 Summer vs Winter? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 476
142737 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 0
142736 What can you say about the behavior of the Koreans in the... ÀÌ*Áß ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 4
142735 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 1
142734 my ambitions ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 2
142733 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 376
142732 When I failed to follow plans È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 561
142731 What¡¯s your favorite English word? Why? ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 465
142730 There\'s no problem to live without smartphone ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-25 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04