¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2025-02-19 127

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some people believe that nowadays too much money is being spent on weddings and birthdays. Why do you think it is happening? What can be done to improve the situation?

Because many people think quality is more important than truth.
People in the past put more importance on mental value than material value.
Even if I was short of money, I thought it would be enough if I had a lot of love, but now that thought has disappeared a lot.
So I think this situation happened.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Thanks for doing your homework.  Your argument is nice, although it could be enhanced by offering a more specific statement to provide a clear direction for the essay. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Because many people think quality is more important than truth.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People in the past put more importance on mental value than material value.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Even if I was short of money, I thought it would be enough if I had a lot of love, but now that thought has disappeared a lot.
>>> Even though I used to believe that love was enough, despite being short on money, that mindset has changed a lot now.
So I think this situation happened.
>>> So I think this situation happens.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142512 Is riding an airplane something you enjoy ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 157
142511 AI phone ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 147
142510 HOMEWORk ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 0
142509 Are GMO\'s good or bad? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-14 5
142508 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 169
142507 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 169
142506 Stores vs Online Shopping ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 166
142505 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1
142504 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 0
142503 Operation post care ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 14
142502 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 154
142501 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 170
142500 What is the best thing to do to please women on Valentine\'s Day? ÀÌ*Áß ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 159
142499 How to handle arguments with friends È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 163
142498 the origin of space ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1
142497 The homework of 12th Fab. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 161
142496 What factors influence a career choice? Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 181
142495 Do you think failure is important for success? Why or why not? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1
142494 Should governments regulate AI development more strictly? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 182
142493 Do you always agree with your husband? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04