¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2025-02-19 165

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some people believe that nowadays too much money is being spent on weddings and birthdays. Why do you think it is happening? What can be done to improve the situation?

Because many people think quality is more important than truth.
People in the past put more importance on mental value than material value.
Even if I was short of money, I thought it would be enough if I had a lot of love, but now that thought has disappeared a lot.
So I think this situation happened.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Thanks for doing your homework.  Your argument is nice, although it could be enhanced by offering a more specific statement to provide a clear direction for the essay. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Because many people think quality is more important than truth.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People in the past put more importance on mental value than material value.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Even if I was short of money, I thought it would be enough if I had a lot of love, but now that thought has disappeared a lot.
>>> Even though I used to believe that love was enough, despite being short on money, that mindset has changed a lot now.
So I think this situation happened.
>>> So I think this situation happens.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141968 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1
141967 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 524
141966 fast food ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 636
141965 Always remind \'Time is invaluable\' ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 2
141964 About my absent Àº*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 3
141963 The homework of 13th Jan. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 601
141962 Write about your best day last week. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 505
141961 Do you want to be a firefighter? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 663
141960 Homework6 ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 643
141959 loneliness ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 461
141958 Sorry ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 626
141957 What activity do you want to squeeze into your routine? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 570
141956 How do you manage your day when you haven\'t had enough sleep? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 488
141955 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 528
141954 When was the last time you were late for something? Write about... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 608
141953 compare ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 0
141952 for children ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 0
141951 What¡¯s the best meeting/ gathering you¡¯ve ever had, and why... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 557
141950 Do you like meeting new people? Àå*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1
141949 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 800

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04