¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why did you stop going to church ?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*È£
2025-02-17 159

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Looking at your writing task today reminds me of my love story with my ex-wife.
My ex-wife was a catholic but I was an atheist.
When I met her and fell in love with her, I used to have a dating with her at catholic church.
And I was gradually interested in catholic because catholic wasn't only my lover's religion but also people who believed in catholic were very kind and considerate.
And then when I deceided to marry her, she asked me to be baptized and become a catholic, which was a condition of marrying her.
I accepted her requirment and was baptized after taking a 10-month preparatory catholic course but I was not a real catholic.
I liked people whom I met at the catholic church and the church atmosphere where it was very calm and solemn but I didn't believe in the church's doctrines.
After I got married, I tried to go to catholic church with my ex-wife every Sunday.
After my ex-wife left me, I sometimes go to church alone.
I still like catholic church people and atmosphere.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Sun Ho^^
Woah! I haven't expected that. 
Anyway, I'm glad to know how you met and the relationship that you had. 
Thank you for sharing something personal.
_T. SHAY^^
***

Looking at your writing task today reminds me of my love story with my ex-wife.
>>Correct
OR: The writing homework reminds me of my love story with my ex-wife.

My ex-wife was a catholic but I was an atheist.
>>My ex-wife was Catholic, but I was an atheist.
When I met her and fell in love with her, I used to have a dating with her at catholic church. 
>>When I met her and fell in love with her, I used to have a date with her at catholic church. 
And I was gradually interested in catholic because catholic wasn't only my lover's religion but also people who believed in catholic were very kind and considerate.
>>And I was gradually interested in Roman Catholicism not only because it was my lover's religion but also because people who believed in Roman Catholicism were very kind and considerate.
And then when I deceided to marry her, she asked me to be baptized and become a catholic, which was a condition of marrying her.
>>And then when I decided to marry her, she asked me to be baptized and become a Catholic, which was a condition of marrying her.
OR: In order to marry her, I had to be baptized and be a Catholic. 
I accepted her requirment and was baptized after taking a 10-month preparatory catholic course but I was not a real catholic.
>>I accepted her requirement and was baptized after taking a 10-month preparatory Catholic course, but I was not a real Catholic.
I liked people whom I met at the catholic church and the church atmosphere where it was very calm and solemn but I didn't believe in the church's doctrines.
>>I liked people whom I met at the catholic church and the church atmosphere was very calm and solemn, but I didn't believe in the church's doctrines.
OR: I liked the church atmosphere and the people I met in church; however, I wasn't a believer

After I got married, I tried to go to catholic church with my ex-wife every Sunday.
>>After I got married, I tried to go to a Catholic church with my ex-wife every Sunday.
After my ex-wife left me, I sometimes go to church alone.
>>Correct
OR: There were times when I tried to go to church alone when my ex-wife left me.

I still like catholic church people and atmosphere.
>>
I still like the Catholic church people and the atmosphere.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142211 Trump ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 485
142210 Write the best way to have a staycation during the Korean New... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 268
142209 What is your ideal summer camp? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 433
142208 Write about the most interesting summer camp you can think of. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 252
142207 How do you celebrate Seollal with your family? ÀÓ*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 481
142206 Write about the first time you were on a plane. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 450
142205 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 1
142204 My introduction ½Å*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 3
142203 Write about your most recent dining experience. ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 464
142202 nature ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-29 1
142201 Rice Terraces ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-29 1
142200 What\'s your ideal Korean New Year? Explain? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-28 296
142199 Do you think traditions should be preserved and maintained? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 572
142198 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 1
142197 When something needs fixing or changing in your house, do you do... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 0
142196 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 400
142195 How can transportation options be convenient or inconvenient? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 2
142194 What¡¯s your favorite place to visit downtown? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 2
142193 My best dream is getting a laptop as my birthday gift from my... À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 364
142192 My children ride ski the first time. Á¶*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-27 350

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04