¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why did you stop going to church ?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*È£
2025-02-17 295

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Looking at your writing task today reminds me of my love story with my ex-wife.
My ex-wife was a catholic but I was an atheist.
When I met her and fell in love with her, I used to have a dating with her at catholic church.
And I was gradually interested in catholic because catholic wasn't only my lover's religion but also people who believed in catholic were very kind and considerate.
And then when I deceided to marry her, she asked me to be baptized and become a catholic, which was a condition of marrying her.
I accepted her requirment and was baptized after taking a 10-month preparatory catholic course but I was not a real catholic.
I liked people whom I met at the catholic church and the church atmosphere where it was very calm and solemn but I didn't believe in the church's doctrines.
After I got married, I tried to go to catholic church with my ex-wife every Sunday.
After my ex-wife left me, I sometimes go to church alone.
I still like catholic church people and atmosphere.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Sun Ho^^
Woah! I haven't expected that. 
Anyway, I'm glad to know how you met and the relationship that you had. 
Thank you for sharing something personal.
_T. SHAY^^
***

Looking at your writing task today reminds me of my love story with my ex-wife.
>>Correct
OR: The writing homework reminds me of my love story with my ex-wife.

My ex-wife was a catholic but I was an atheist.
>>My ex-wife was Catholic, but I was an atheist.
When I met her and fell in love with her, I used to have a dating with her at catholic church. 
>>When I met her and fell in love with her, I used to have a date with her at catholic church. 
And I was gradually interested in catholic because catholic wasn't only my lover's religion but also people who believed in catholic were very kind and considerate.
>>And I was gradually interested in Roman Catholicism not only because it was my lover's religion but also because people who believed in Roman Catholicism were very kind and considerate.
And then when I deceided to marry her, she asked me to be baptized and become a catholic, which was a condition of marrying her.
>>And then when I decided to marry her, she asked me to be baptized and become a Catholic, which was a condition of marrying her.
OR: In order to marry her, I had to be baptized and be a Catholic. 
I accepted her requirment and was baptized after taking a 10-month preparatory catholic course but I was not a real catholic.
>>I accepted her requirement and was baptized after taking a 10-month preparatory Catholic course, but I was not a real Catholic.
I liked people whom I met at the catholic church and the church atmosphere where it was very calm and solemn but I didn't believe in the church's doctrines.
>>I liked people whom I met at the catholic church and the church atmosphere was very calm and solemn, but I didn't believe in the church's doctrines.
OR: I liked the church atmosphere and the people I met in church; however, I wasn't a believer

After I got married, I tried to go to catholic church with my ex-wife every Sunday.
>>After I got married, I tried to go to a Catholic church with my ex-wife every Sunday.
After my ex-wife left me, I sometimes go to church alone.
>>Correct
OR: There were times when I tried to go to church alone when my ex-wife left me.

I still like catholic church people and atmosphere.
>>
I still like the Catholic church people and the atmosphere.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140424 Have you ever bought something you later wished you hadn¡¯t?... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 1133
140423 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 1226
140422 My best restaurant in Korea. ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 1071
140421 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1
140420 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1
140419 What kind of accommodation do you want to stay in when you... ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1333
140418 What outdoor activities do you like to do during autumn? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1231
140417 My best mentor ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1332
140416 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1187
140415 Do you know some doctors who do two or more jobs in your country... Â÷*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1684
140414 What other factors can you improve on with your research to... Â÷*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1462
140413 10/11 home work Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1135
140412 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1646
140411 Have you ever bought something without planning it, and then... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1
140410 How does fashion influence the way people think about others? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1268
140409 Neighbors are the people who live near us. In your opinion, what... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1303
140408 HOMEWORK FOR 10.14.2024 DIRECTIONS: Use the following... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 5
140407 What did you do last weekend? What will you do this weekend? Do... ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 3
140406 How do you feel about having extra work on the side while... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1304
140405 >> Loesje asked: \"Why wait for the weekend to have fun?\" Do... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04