¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of having many cousins?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-02-14 168

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First, advantages is more people play with me and disadvantages is loud, annoying and they are touch my things so could be breaking my things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's another corrected composition, Yale! Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. See you soon! 


Cheers,
Jean~~

        



                    What are the advantages and disadvantages of having many cousins?


First, advantages is more people play with me and disadvantages is loud, annoying and 
they are touch my things so could be breaking my things.
>> One advantage is that I have more people to play with, whereas some advantages are, that they are loud, annoying, and touch or even break my things. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142135 What¡¯s the funniest thing that¡¯s ever happened to you while... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 292
142134 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 276
142133 Giving money to young people ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 317
142132 The best gift for yongsters is to spend time together. ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 294
142131 How does Korean perceive political discussion? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 315
142130 What kind of a leader makes a good leader? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 323
142129 What are the advantages and disadvantages of talking through the... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-23 288
142128 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-22 0
142127 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-22 248
142126 Why do some people handle waiting better than others? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-22 290
142125 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-22 1
142124 I¡¯ve played Tic-Tac-Toe before. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-22 289
142123 Why we sometimes cannot keep deadlines ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-22 1
142122 First essay!! ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-22 294
142121 I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer! ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-22 387
142120 I wore a vest nowadays which my mother knitted for me! ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-22 250
142119 Do you think that governments should encourage public transport... ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-22 2
142118 I want to change this answer into a couple of lines ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-22 304
142117 I want to change this answer into a couple of lines ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-22 245
142116 I want to change this answer into a couple of lines ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-22 260

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04