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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

The homework of 11th Fab.

작성자: 조*호
2025-02-12 278

회원님의 영작문

Q : Do you think "mind-reading" technology could be dangerous? Why or why not?

A : Yes. I think it could be dangerous for human.
Because sometime people need to conceal something whether it is bad or not.
However, due to mind-reading skill, they would not be able to conceal everything.
Then, they will get a blame or shame or further bad emotions.
But, i think mind-reading skill can be used in specific fields.
For example, it can be used for finding criminals who lying.
So, i think limited using of mind-reading can be helpful.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Eddy,

Thank you for your homework! I really appreciate your effort in sharing your thoughts on this topic.

Your answer is thoughtful, and you’ve clearly considered both the potential dangers and benefits of mind-reading technology. I like how you pointed out that sometimes people need privacy or the ability to conceal certain things, which could make mind-reading dangerous. Your mention of possible negative consequences like blame, shame, and bad emotions adds a strong emotional perspective to your argument.

You also make a valid point about the potential benefits in specific fields, like crime investigation, which shows you understand the complexity of this technology.

One thing to keep in mind is that while you’ve done a great job explaining your point, it might be helpful to elaborate a bit more on how exactly mind-reading technology could be used safely in certain situations. For example, how could people’s privacy be protected in these situations?

But overall, your answer is clear and insightful. I’m really proud of your work! Keep up the good effort, and I look forward to your next homework!

~Teacher Cathy

 

Yes. I think it could be dangerous for human.

>>Yes, I think it could be dangerous for humans.

Because sometime people need to conceal something whether it is bad or not.

>>Because sometimes people need to conceal something, whether it is bad or not.

However, due to mind-reading skill, they would not be able to conceal everything.

>>However, due to the mind-reading skill, they would not be able to conceal everything.

Then, they will get a blame or shame or further bad emotions.

>>Then, they will receive blame, shame, or further bad emotions.

But, i think mind-reading skill can be used in specific fields.

>>But I think the mind-reading skill can be used in specific fields.

For example, it can be used for finding criminals who lying.

>>For example, it can be used for criminals who are lying.

So, i think limited using of mind-reading can be helpful.

>>So, I think limited use of mind-reading can be helpful.

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